Why you must disagree

                                                                Why you must disagree

I am a trooper for my Indian upbringing – I cannot criticize it without feeling guilty. A certain respect for rules and authority definitely kept me out of a lot of trouble while I was growing up. I stayed away from sex, drugs and alcohol until I was rational enough to weigh their pros and cons. I learnt to work hard and learnt to not throw away my money at gucci bags (I mean mindless consumerism. Oh, I'm severely uncool). I had a very stable childhood and didn't have to deal with broken family structures. I learnt to “pull through” and “adjust”. But I think there was a very important thing that I didn't learn, which was that its okay to disagree and exhibit dissent.

There is a great emphasis on obedience in our upbringing. It acts as a successful conveyor belt, passing on ideas and values from the past to the present. The past is viewed as a great repository of ideas and magical powers. The sages, the saints, the great, glorious past that is never refuted, never questioned, but accepted as divine ordinance. Someone that has studied the great literature from the past, read all the Vedas (“chaturvedi”, the man that has learnt the four vedas) is seen as a person of great knowledge, culturally. While the tranquil philosophy of the Veda Vaakyas are a great gem in our historical and socio cultural history, I am never taught it at school. I am taught a conflicting set of things – independent thinking, questioning and “new knowledge”. While any sort of learning is good and desirable in the face of abject non-learning, our cultural learning is different from our school-learning. This creates a system of conflict in terms of what is more culturally desirable. Is it an English speaking cosmopolitan that we're trying to create?

Is it a person that can make money in a global world, yet hold on to our cultural learning? Or do we want to create a generation that is capable of adapting to change, whilst guided from some lessons from the past?

I wouldn't say that we're different from any other “western” society in being reactionary or protectionist when threatened by alien cultures. But I'm saying that we're perhaps the most trained to adapt quickly – considering the mammoth proportions of ethnic co-existence in India. I strongly believe that a part of moving towards it, is learning the art of dissent. Disagreeing on important things must be taught in school and at home, I think.

But let's talk about why we should change or adapt. In the past two decades, Indian middle class has had to deal with globalization. Indians have always lived abroad, but the influx of the knowledge from abroad is much greater now given the internet and social media. It was / is the middle class's dream to have to live in the US and make the dough, to put it gently. Restless, young and empowered India is beginning to see a new set of ideas. It is impossible to contain any sort of injustice towards anyone any longer, because ideas of self-empowerment are rampant (of course, that's a good thing). It is like the cultural “free market”. But all this definitely challenges our traditional ideas of gender roles, jobs, ideas of sexuality, freedom and individuality. What is important is to realize that these turbulences are natural and are okay. They aren't “evil”. It is necessary to rewire our traditional understanding to make way for the new blends. It's also perhaps helpful to realize that ancient society didn't have all the latest information when they made rules.

Here's are some examples of some changes. Women no longer belong in the kitchen, unless they choose to. Men no longer are sole bread winners of the family. Men can be excellent chefs and home makers. Your religious beliefs are personal and a matter of choice. Relationships need not be a matter of conformity. You can choose to be single for as long as you want to be. Be brave, you don't have to be an engineer to be rich or happy. Oh, caste ism is an antiquated idea. Homosexuality exists and is not abnormal. You don't have to have all the answers, nobody does. You don't have to 25 and be very sorted. You can pace your life out. Most importantly, you aren't a failure if you haven't been following the golden implicit rules that society lays out. These are changes that you're presented with and have to deal with.

Years of obedience and training must be challenged to deal with these new ideas. “Helida maatu keLu” (listen to elders) is the corner stone of our upbringing, which also needs to be altered. Learn to disagree with anything that undermines anybody. Learn to be suspicious of unclear, half read mumbo-jumbo from the past. Question that 8^th standard teacher who tells you that competition is the be all and end all of life and that 12^th standard will make or break you. It's okay to disagree with someone that tells you that love marriages are a bad thing – it clearly isn't. Disagree with people who aren't inclusive in their ideas, i.e that divide people on the basis of anything. Don't sit in that college class out of respect if you aren't learning anything. Demand to be taught. Ask for quality. Don't be scared to voice your opinion to someone that is older than you, but is saying things that you fundamentally think are misguided. Don't be scared to voice your opinion to your peer. Its ok to disagree over what's cool and what's not.

I was never taught dissent. But I disagree nowadays.